That must have been some wicked water weight!
After the mysterious weight gain last week, I lost 5.2 this week. And that’s in spite of the fact that I really enjoyed my Yom Kippur Jewish Soul Food last weekend. I ate bagels with lox, white fish and kippered salmon for 4 meals in 2 days – until every last scrap was gone. Frankly, I would not have cared if I GAINED 5 pounds – it’s that good.
But I did skip all of the pastries and other sweets, so it turned out juuuuuuuust fine.
And I’m over the 50 lb mark. Not just a deck chair off the titanic anymore, is it?
Almost time to really start exercising.
Maybe next week. This week I’m getting ready for a big consignment sale. Oh, and I just don’t wanna.
Signing off my brand spanking new computer (thank you, hard drive crash, for forcing me to fork over $500 for a new one). Still have so many things I want to write about, but not today.
Crash and Burn…
Wondering where I’ve been his week?
My computer’s hard drive crashed. The good news is that it was backed up. Thank goodness I brought an external hard drive last month!
Right now I’m on my husband’s computer, which is a MAC. I know MACs are terrific. Truly. I know they are “better” and the functions “more intuitive”. But as I tell my husband, when you’ve been using a PC for 20 years, Windows is intuitive, not this weird MAC platform. Heck, I can’t figure out how to do most things here.
Anyway, that’s the crash. But not the only one.
I had my Weight Watchers weigh-in this morning, and am up a pound.
Guess I shouldn’t have had the Shrimp with Lobster Sauce, fried rice, eggroll and wonton soup last night, eh?
Mmmmmm. It was goooooooood!
So, it’s a blip. I was a little surprised, but I learned something, too. Don’t have a huge, heavy meal the night before weigh-in. Not exactly rocket science…
This is a journey, and the weight gain is just a blip.
Now I have to figure out what computer I’m going to get to replace my 5 year-old Dell laptop. That’s the real challenge this week!
Why I Don’t Join Weight Watchers Online, and First Blog Weigh-in Results…
A large part of the Weight Watchers program involves monthly meetings, along with weigh-ins. These are important for me, and keep me focused on the program. WW does offer an online program with no meetings or weigh-ins, which my brother-in-law has used to lose fifty lbs, so far. Yay Chilly!
For me, though, the online program would not be a smart choice. I know myself. If there were no meetings I just know it would be a short amount of time before I was slacking off.
It’ s not that I think the meetings are all that valuable. They do have some value (and more this time, which I’ll go into at a later time), but it’s really not about the content for me. It’s about taking action to stay committed. Attending the meeting/weigh-in is as much of a deliberate action to stay committed as is choosing the salad over the hamburger. Clicking a few clicks of the mouse of the computer I’m already sitting at? Not so much.
More often than not, though, I’ve been unable to stay for the meeting itself. I joined right before the summer, which was filled with swim lessons for my son, vacation and more swim lessons. A 10 am swim lesson meant I had juuuust enough time to go for a weigh-in and get Son to the pool on time. Well, mostly on time.
I’ve made it to the two meetings since school started again, but then had to leave right after weight-in yesterday, due to the Jewish holiday. Many of my fellow tribers chose not to show at all, but since the weekly check in helps keep me committed, I decided not to skip. I’m sure G-d understands.
So I went. And lost another 2.8 lbs, for a total of 47.8.
I know I won’t continue to lose weight at this rate, and it’s okay. But every ounce I lose gets me closer to my first goal – which you will get to learn about in my next post.
When Shaving is a Notable Event
Today I shaved my legs.
This may not seem like an occasion worthy of note to most of you. But it is definitely a postworthy event here, for several reasons.
I’ve been a sporadic leg-shaver all my life. I must admit that when I was in high school in New Jersey, I would go all winter without shaving my legs, unless I was required (by attendance at a wedding, funeral or bar mitzvah) to wearing a dress. In my defense, it provided an extra layer of warmth. And it was an environmentally conscious choice, as my carbon footprint was reduced by the use of less razors, and water.
It was!
I live in Florida now, so shaveless winters are no longer a possibility. I do, though, often go quite a long time without shaving above the knee. I so wish I was a woman who didn’t have to shave above the knee, but G-d apparently gave the good stuff like being able to eat whatever you want without gaining an ounce, even, straight teeth and baby-down leg hair to some other chicks.
But He has blessed me with lots and lots of hair. I have enough hair on my one little head to cover the pates of at least four others. I lose enough hair in one day to supply combovers to at least three follically- (and fashion-) challenged men. I have long, curly tresses that are the envy of my husband, my mother, and many others.
He could have stopped at my head. But no, the top of my head isn’t the only place blessed with lots and lots of hair. Lots and lots of coarse, six-shades-darker-than-the-hair-on-my-head hair. It’s just a royal pain in the ass to shave it, so I really must be in the mood.
And when you’re 100 lbs overweight and think that no matter what you do you’re not going to look attractive, it’s even harder. I’d even been going longer and longer between lower-leg shaving. What’s the point? I’d think, “People won’t be surprised that someone so fat has hairy legs, so why bother?”
The worse I feel about myself the less I do to make myself more attractive, which makes me look worse and feel less attractive, which makes me feel worse…it’s a vicious cycle.
The loss of forty-five pounds, though, is beginning to have an effect. I look better. The weight loss is mostly visible above the waist – and I actually have a waist now. I’ve gone down a couple of sizes up top, my bra size has gone down (much to my husband’s chagrin), and even my necklaces are lying much closer to where they’re supposed to be, instead of looking like chokers.
And then this weekend something great happened. I’ve finally, FINALLY gone down a pants size.
My husband, supportive throughout, has been touching me more, and made some truly lovely comments. Seeing the flush of attraction in his eyes, though never completely gone, always makes me feel more womanly, and better about myself.
And so I woke up this morning, and I felt good. My sister and I have a running joke that you know it’s time to shave your legs when they can be french-braided. It was time.
Lower legs, upper legs, underarms – the whole shebang.
It’s amazing how much better, sexier, happier I feel.
A notable event, indeed.
The Road to Fat Starts Here – My Family
First, I’d like to say that I own responsibility for being overweight, and pretty much always have. I am not blaming anyone. That’s not to say that there aren’t other people and factors that have affected my relationship with food. And to tell the story of how I got here, they must be included.
Like so many others, I’ve struggled with weight my entire life. Pictures of throughout my childhood show the “baby fat”, even when my parents were the only ones in control of what went into my mouth.
That’s not really surprising. Everyone in my family is or was overweight. And that’s what I want to talk about today – family.
My nuclear family consists of my mother, father, and older-by-two-years sister. Every single one of us has always had difficulty controlling our weight. Even my father, who has never been seriously overweight, has always had a pooch. I remember as a child calling it “my pillow”, and spent my preschool years using it often.
My mother was a very fat child. She roller-coastered up and down in weight her whole life, reaching a maximum of about 165 lbs on her petite 4′ 11″ frame when in her late thirties. Then she had an epiphany of sorts, and maintained a healthy weight into her mid-sixties. Now, at 70, she struggles to maintain her weight again, but now the struggle is to keep it on. She must drink Ensure supplements daily, and struggles to keep her weight over 100 lbs.
Oh, to have THAT struggle for once! The only way I’ll ever be 100 lbs is if they cut off some limbs!
My sister, until the past ten years, has battled me since childhood for the unwanted title of Fattest in the Family. There was a brief period in high school where she got down to a very healthy weight, and she looked fantastic. She is also currently on Weight Watchers, and is teetering on the edge of her own 50 lb weight loss. I’m so proud of her!
The past ten years, though, I’ve worn the Fattest in the Family mantle all by my lonesome. True, I’m 5’6 to her 5’2″, but no matter way you cut it, I’m fatter.
So, there it is.
At some point, perhaps even with my next post, I’ll explore the question of heredity vs. environment. What has more affected my weight – biology or learning by example? A most controversial issue.
An Even More Phat VitaTops Deal! Six FREE VitaTops!
I went to the Vitalicious website after I posted the last post (where I talk about how delectable they are, and that they are only 1 point!) , and discovered that they have an even better deal going on now:
6 Free VitaTop Offer!
Buy 30 & Get 6 FREE
That’s a value of $8.00 discounted at checkout!
You pay only $36 (with coupon) for 36 VitaTops– that’s only $1 each.
- Select 30 VitaTops of your choice
- Select your 6 FREE DeepChocolate VitaTops
- Enter your coupon code and your 6 FREE DeepChocolate VitaTops ($8.00 value) will be discounted at checkout (can not be combined with any other coupon offer).
Remember, they are only 1 Weight Watchers point! Save the 10% off coupon code for your next order!
Frugal Phat Deal – VitaTops Coupon Code
The program I’ve chosen to lose weight is Weight Watchers. I’ll go into the reasons and other comments more in other posts.
Weight Watchers is based on a point system, where foods are assigned point values based on calories, fat and fiber. One of the things we do at meetings is share ideas for foods and snacks that are delicious and low-point.
A few weeks ago I was introduced to the wonderful world of VitaTops. They are muffin tops (anyone else channeling Seinfeld right now?) – delicious, delectable, devilishly decadent one hundred calorie, one point masterpieces. Thank you, fiber!
And, according to their website, all it takes to walk off the 100 Calorie VitaTop is 13-15 minutes.
I’ve only tasted the Deep Chocolate, and they are divine. They taste very close to the Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate muffins, which are the height of chocolate muffin greatness, against which all others must be measured. And, at 7 points, they were one of the tools I used to get myself fat and diabetic, especially when I ate two. Sorry for the lost business, Otis!
The full line of flavors is:
- Apple Crumb
- Fudgy Peanut Butter Chip
- Deep Chocolate
- Chocolate Mint
- Raisin Bran
- Banana Nut
- Golden Corn
- Banana Fudge
- Triple Chocolate Chunk
- Double Chocolate Dream
- Dark Chocolate Pomegranate (???!!!)
- Blue Bran
- Cran Bran
- Appleberry
They also have regular muffins, but I’ve not tried them…
These suckers are expensive, though. $4.39 for a box of four at Target. I know women who have one with coffee every morning for breakfast, but my frugal nature will only let me get them as an occasional treat.
You can also have them shipped direct. Enter MMMYY3QYQ at checkout. for a 10% off coupon, valid until 11/30/2010. They occasionally offer free shipping, which really makes it worth it.
How my left buttcheek got on the dadgum wagon …
I started this blog on September 1, 2009. I set it up, wrote one page about This Fat Chick, and never came back.
It’s 12 months and two days later, and things have changed.
Oh, I’m still fat. After the post last year I probably lost about ten pounds, and then fell off the wagon with a giant, crater-producing thud. Again.
And remained thus until about May 2010, when I finally mustered the courage to get thyself to the doctor, and get the news I already knew.
I am diabetic. Type 2, insulin-resistant. Which means that I ate so much crap that my body has become resistant to the insulin so much needed to keep me healthy.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK!
So, I was put on medication. And – surprise! – told to lose weight.
I sooooooooo did not wanna.
Every time I’ve started a weight loss plan in the past, I’ve made a conscious choice to do so, and began it with some energy, some excitement that this time it was going to work. And that energy, that excitement, got me to jump on the wagon with a smile and a spring in my step. And that got me through those first few days or weeks, until some new habits had formed. Thus I’ve always said that I had to be ready to get on the wagon. Otherwise there was no chance in hell of making it through even a single day.
This time, this past May, I had no such energy. No excitement at all. Instead of energy and excitement I was filled with fear, resentment and disgust. I didn’t want to get on that wagon. I wanted a nuclear bomb to fall on that dadgum wagon.
So, after a few days of really pitiable self-pity, I found myself backing up to the wagon. I didn’t look at it, and cleared my mind of where my ass was going. I leaned against it, and put the very edge of my massive buttcheek onto the teeny, tiny corner of the wagon.
And off it went. My legs cycling on the ground like Fred Flintstone’s, struggling to stay on the dadgum wagon.
It’s now September 3rd, some three months later. I’ve lost about 45 lbs. Yay me! But I am still at the beginning of this damn wagon’s train . I’m still not thinking about where it’s going, or how many more miles it will take me to get… somewhere. But instead of just the edge of my massive buttcheek, a little more butt flesh has taken hold.
I have a doctor’s appointment next week, and I’m sure he’ll be pleased at my weight loss. But as my sister (who is also on a similar wagon and has recently lost nearly 50 lbs) likes to say, “It’s like losing a deck chair off the Titanic.”
And so, as I was lying in bed this morning, having been away from blogging here and at my other blog for a year, I was inspired to return. There’s many things I want to write about – weight loss, how I got so fat, random thoughts on a variety of topics related to weight, nutrition and fitness and… not. There’ll be stuff about relationships, self-image, strategies that have worked for me and those that haven’t, tips on being frugal, and how money affects weight gain and loss….
See, my head is just full.
I have a new email address, a Twitter Account, an RSS Feed. Let’s see what happens next.
This Fat Chick
I am a fat chick. A reallllllllllly fat chick. The kind of fat chick that weight loss surgery is designed for. The kind of fat chick that has struggled with her weight all her life.
The thing is that I’m too smart to be fat. I know all of the reasons not to. I know that I’m slowly killing myself. I know that by staying fat I am risking not being able to see my son get married. In fact, I’m risking not being able to see him enter first grade.
So, I needed to start the journey, but I just wouldn’t make myself do it. Why? Well, I’m sure I’ll explore some of that here. But really, why doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve started. Finally.
This blog will document the journey, sure. How I got here and where I’m going now. I’ll likely make someone laugh, and I might make someone cry. I’m sure to piss off a bunch, too. I might even make that difference for someone else, or even make a buck. Cool.
Helter Svelter 